Mr Monk Confronts his Feelings
by numbertwopensyl
Summary: After a new officer ridicules Monk and his late wife, Natalie comes to his rescue. Will Monk realize that Natalie is the key to happiness or will he stay in darkness forever? Bad summary. Pairing: Monk/Natalie.


He couldn't explain it, really. Every time he opened his mouth, something stupid or awkward came out. He was always like that around her. For the first time in his life, Adrian Monk was dumb-struck, completely without a thing to say, by someone other than his beloved, dead wife.

And that frightened him.

It only recently happened. They've been through so much together, but he still questioned why she stayed. He'd heard the whispers, the laughing and the taunting from others, either from a group of people he was once apart of or society in general, all because of his obscure behaviors. He often wondered why she never listened to them, the normal, healthy people. And he selfishly thought, that he's glad she never listened. That he's lucky she never listened.

He was surprised earlier today, at the department. He found her defending him. That was _so_ not part of her job description.

But he liked it. More than he should have. He liked watching her put that squirmy new guy in his place. The only other person who would've done that was Trudy. But he still liked that she was the one to do it.

"_Hey, what's up with that friggen' nut over there?" Rookie Jim Cohen asked gruffly, while conversing with his new found brothers in blue. They all watched as Monk straightened every folder, every phone, and every mouse on the many rows of desks in the San Francisco Police Department. He was waiting for Captain Stottlemyer to be done with his meetings and to keep himself busy, decided to do the second thing he does best. But that didn't mean he couldn't hear the discussions of the new officer and Jim was making no attempt at hiding his views of the jittery man._

"_That's Adrian Monk, one of the smartest, yet weirdest consultants we got. He was booted off the force. Word is, he went psycho when his wife was killed by a mysterious car-bomb. That was the only murder he's never solved." Officer Rains whispered to the overly confident Rookie. The kid was acting like he was going to own the place on his first day and he couldn't wait till Jim got knocked down a peg. If not by him, then the captain. Or like on this day, someone else._

"_Yeah but with him as a husband, I think I'd blow myself up too. I mean God, look at the freak." Jim laughed nervously and confusingly. The other officers had slowly moved away from him. _

_And as an angry, blond woman marched straight up to him, he understood why. She looked as if she was about to sock him one, fuming with a beat-red face. She pointed one long, slender finger at him accusingly. "You!" She exclaimed, her outburst being heard through out the department. "You, have NO right to speak of some one like that, no right at all! What the hell are you thinking? Huh? That you're all high and mighty now just because you have a shiny new badge? Well, I have news for you. Unless you grow up, you'll never be an elite officer, not like Mr. Monk. He's better at solving a case in 24 hours than you will be in your entire life! He's amazing; he has attention to detail and is observant. Even when he's blind, he can solve a case in record time. Can you do that, Skippy?" She was met with silence. "I didn't think so."_

_She briskly made her way over to her boss, who was sitting low in the old creaky revolving chair, toying with some blue paper clips. She offered her hand to him and he took it hesitantly. She smiled, her face still a shade of pink, with red gathering at the nose. Distractingly, he proposed in his mind, her reaction if he ever kissed that nose._

'_Whoa._

_Where'd that come from?' He thought, nervously pinching the bridge of his nose. She didn't even notice as she dragged him to the captain's office and explained what happened. It wasn't needed, as he had heard and had even thanked her. _

"_Not many people defend Monk. It's nice to know that the list is growing." He sent her off with a stack of paper-work, that they had originally come for, and a withered smile._

_With her boss' paper-work in one hand and his arm in the other, she proudly marched toward the door of the station, but not before giving officer Skippy one last, snarling look, a look that said "mess with him again, and you die"._

_Officer Rains slowly walked up to the stunned young man, who was still frozen in his spot, a tint of pink in his cheeks, a tint of embarrassment._

"_Oh and that feisty young lady there, that's his assistant, Natalie Teeger. I don't think you should comment about Mr. Monk anymore. She defends him like a lion does her cubs. And like you saw, she's not afraid to bear her teeth to anyone who disrespects or demeans him. I hope this has taught you something, Rookie." Rains explained and patted the officer lightly on his shoulder, as the two watched the pair walk off into the bright daylight of the early morning._

The warm, sunny day hit Monk and Natalie like a brick as they made their way to the large silver car. Monk lightly touched the antenna, as per usual, and carefully climbed into the vehicle.

After buckling up, he took a moment to hide his face in his hands, stressed because of his weird obscurities and in confusion of his earlier thought.

He nearly jumped out of his seat as Natalie, who was filled with concern for her boss, lightly touched his shoulder. He restrained himself though and took a deep shuddering breath.

"Mr. Monk, are you okay?" She asked softly, afraid to disturb him further. She knew people have said worse before but it's never affected him this much. Truth be told, she was worried, and still a little angry. If it wasn't against the law, she'd go right up to Skippy and knock him out, in front of the whole Police Department. She hated the way people treated Monk and the memory of his late wife, which was a very personal weak spot for him. She just wished she could make them understand. She wished she could make them see the genius in this awkward, strange man.

He sighed heavily. "Yeah, I've heard worse." It broke her heart when he made a shrugging motion, as if he had heard these nasty comments all the time, as if it was nothing new.

She felt so sorry and so concerned, that she unbuckled her self, in one fast quick motion, and hugged him before he could protest.

She wrapped her feather light arms around him and instantly, Monk was filled with warmth. And, strangely enough, happiness as well, which sadly, was a foreign feeling to the man. Also, he felt protected by her.

He felt, that in her arms, nothing and no one could hurt him, nothing could touch him. He was completely surrounded by this new, light feeling that he didn't know what to do with. And to him it was amazing.

He was startled out of his revere, as Natalie took it upon her self to rest her head onto his clothed chest. She could listen to his fast, nervous heart beat, as it fell into step with her own.

Daringly, and amazingly, he raised his hands to stroke her cheek and wined another in her hair, feeling the soft, almost invisible stands, slip through his nimble and jittery fingers. Natalie gasped, her mouth open in amazement. He had never willingly touched her like this before. Never.

She treasured this moment, as she knew it would soon be over. She knew this and resigned herself to it. Her crush on him was all it was ever going to be. He was still terribly devoted to his late wife and nothing would change that. She had never intended to replace Trudy, nor would she ever try. But she would've liked for Monk to try to find happiness, maybe if not in her, than someone else. Love might make him heal. She just wished he could realize that.

"I do realize that. Well now I do." He whispered. Natalie grimaced and clutched his neatly pressed shirt in her hands, as she found that her thoughts were accidently vocalized.

"I'm just scared." Natalie looked up at this and lightly fingered his hairline and his cheek.

"Why?"

"What…" He trailed off. Taking another deep sigh, he started once more. "What if I replace Trudy with you? She was my first and only love. I never found anyone after her. What if she disapproves? I'm just filled with all these 'what if's'. You know what…I'm sorry. I'm sorry you chose to love someone like me." He let go of her and hid his face in his hands once more, with his elbows resting on his knees.

He expected her to run.

He expected her to call him a coward and run.

But she didn't.

He was surprised that after a while, he felt her warm, feminine front hugging his back. She hadn't left. He was so happy that he almost didn't realize that she was muttering words into his back.

"You won't replace Trudy with me. I won't let you. Just like I won't let you replace Mitch. And if there's one thing I know, it's that Trudy wants you to be happy. She loved you, and love means letting someone be happy, even if they're not there. If it had been you instead, wouldn't you want her to be happy?"

He slowly nodded, with his pants creasing as his elbows moved with his head. He felt Natalie smile into his back. And he smiled too.

"Now come on, lift your head so I can see you again." She chuckled, patting his shoulders as she talked. He did as she requested.

And suddenly, everything was different.

The world was brighter than it had been, and it was more colorful. Everything was more refined in this new light. And Natalie…well Natalie was stunning. She was more beautiful than he could ever remember.

Natalie had managed to finally lift the darkness from the world. She restored a little bit of order back into it. And as he straightened a letter in the above compartment, he realized that it wasn't much, but it was certainly a start. And a wonderful start, at that.

He was so excited about this new found clarity that, for the first time in his life, he did something outstandingly spontaneous.

Monk leaned over from the passenger side seat and lightly kissed Natalie. His eyes fluttered shut as hers did the same, with his hands resting on her waist and hers stroking his face. She was the one who broke the kiss and leaned her forehead to rest against his, smiling, with tears running down her face.

He was ready to be happy again, she was almost certain of that.

And as she dried her face, buckled herself in once more and turned the ignition on, she realized that she was ready to be happy again as well.

* * *

This is my first attempt at a Monk/Natalie fanfic. I know, they're OCC but I don't really care. I just wrote it when I was bored. Well hope some of you shippers out there like it!


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